You enjoy your fish, while your spouse/loved one digs his/her veggies..... or you both enjoy meat, while it makes you child queasy. So how do you guide your child's eating choices without passing value judgements?
When VijayLaxmi Bose's son was young, he refused to touch his meat and found fish smelly - a very difficult situation for a Bengali family. He equated meat with animals and the sight of meat on his plate brought images of animals being slaughtered.
Despite pressure from well meaning relatives and friends, Bose decided to let her son be. However she says, "He now has eggs and occasionally Kababs, but if there is a choice between Rajma (vegetarian) or Korma (non vegetarian), he will choose the former." He has also been explained to that it may be disasterous to refuse meat as a guest at someone's house, when veggies maybe a more expensive option, or , when they rarely figure as a part of the menu.
Parent's Dilemma:
It is tough for parents to walk the talk, when it comes to raising kids as 'Veggies', even when the choice is made for them. A young mother , a vegetarian, shares her dilemma, "My husband is a hard core non-vegetarian and I do not even eat eggs, so I had my task cut out. When my daughter was old enough to understand. However we are of one opinion that she does not really need to eat meat now and it will be entirely her choice once she is old enough. Leaving it to the child to decide may work in some cases, but it is easier said than done for others." Sumita.
Thapar's parents decided to allow their three children to choose to eat meat if they wished despite being vegetarians themselves. She states, "today, two of us remain vegetarians. One of my brothers enjoys mutton, and little nephew consumes bacon as his favorite food. Fine by all of us."
Having a set of parents, on vegetarian and the other 'non-veg', can make for a confused child.
The child wants to emulate the parents eating habits and does not know what to do. "While mom was vegetarian, and we are vegetarian by caste, Dad had opportunity to sample meat dishes at neighbors, growing up in north India. My parents never discouraged me from eating meat, but it was never really ever prepared at home and if Dad ever wanted to cook chicken occasionally, Mom asked him to use seperate utensils and dishes. So while I had been introduced to meat at a very early age and even liked the taste of it, i think watching my mom not eat it, and not even like the smell of it, made me feel uncomfortable about eating meat." a lady shares. While her brothers grew up relishing meat based dishes, she chooses chicken and fish only when there is no good vegetarian alternative.
Confusing rules and standards:
For parents who want to ensure their children stay vegetarian, how do they explain to a child that it is wrong to kill animals, when one parent eats meat? - Psychiatrists believe that there is no perfect way to do this.
One psychiatrist states, " The child wonders why there are different rules or standards for him and his parent. In order to deal with this seperation, you can start by telling your child that different individuals tend to follow different eating habbits for different reasons. One has learnt from childhood that eating meat is okay, however the other has learnt that eating meat involves killing animals which is morally incorrect. You can emphasise on the positive aspects of eating vegetarian food, for instance, it is healthier and easier to digest. Also it is important that you focus on the eating behaviour and do not give any labels to the parent, such as "he is doing wrong, it does not mean you do it too."
And how do you deal with emotional children,once they make the connection that meat comes from animal they love reading about or see around them?
If the child is very attached to, lets say a toy duck, you need not explain how the animal is killed and made into meat.
Also you can give the child a scientific and nature based explaination as to how the eco system maintains its balance, when people eat farm food as well as animals. It is important that the parent helps the child understand that there is no sin eating meat. It is wise to allow the child to explore and take her own decisions.
So moving on to the biggest question.
Is Vegetarian food good?
Meanwhile, is a purely vegetarian diet good for kids? Dietician explains -
The nutritional needs of children change as they grow. A vegetarian diet can meet a childs nutritional needs, but only if it is well planned. A diet rich in fruits and veggies will be high in fibre and low in fat, factors known to improve cardiovascular health by reducing blood chlorestrol and maintaining healthy weight. If your child insists on pizza's or burgers, make it at home , and include as many veggies as you can.
Some of the nutrients that vegetarians should include in their diet are
- Vitamin B12, which is present in dairy products and vitamin fortified products like cereals and bread.
- Vitamin D, present in citrus fruits
- Calcium - dairy products, green leafy vegetables, tofu and other soy products being the rich source
- Iron - whole grains, leafy green vegetables, and iron - fortified cereals, bread
- Zinc - Wheat, gram nuts, fortified cereals , dried beans, and pumpkin seeds.
It is a balancing act, in more ways than one! Ultimately, its a matter of choice.
Compilation done by - Mr. Ashoke Kumar Mitter (my grandfather)
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